You know, one thing about going through trials is that it makes you lean a whole lot more on God. I’m pretty sure that one of the reasons that my job was taken from me without warning is that God wants me to look at him when I’m talking to him. I think for quite a while my prayers were said on the run and that I was “fitting him in” where I could.
Now I have the opportunity to stare him straight in the eyes and give him full attention.
Scary, isn’t it? That’s probably why I don’t do it as oft as I should, though I do have my moments of focusing on him.
I know that God has a plan for me. The really hard part is that I don’t know what that plan is. He hasn’t shared it with me yet. So I go about my business of keeping house, making meals and doing what I can to stay busy, trying not to stress about the lack of income or prospects. But knowing what he’s doing would help so much during this time, don’t you think?
Maybe God’s plan is for me to stop and take a break. I haven’t had a real vacation since the last time I lost a job.
Maybe God just wants me to realize that my job isn’t me, that I’m more than the title under my name and my responsibilities. They don’t make me who I am. They only give me an opportunity to show my character in that setting.
Maybe God has it in his head to make me understand, fully understand, the idea of having peace and being still. If that’s the case, I may be unemployed for a loooooooong time.
Who knows why God has me out of an office and into a new home with no income to help pay for it?
But this I do know: The same God who gave us this house is bigger than the mortgage. He’s capable of doing amazing things with nothing. Ever heard of a guy name Adam? Yep, made out of worthless dirt. That universe that we’re living in? God just blinked and there it was. I fully believe that he can supply our needs however he chooses to do so. He owns everything in this world, including the printed pieces of paper that we humans find so important.
So sometimes when I’m starting to worry about money (it doesn’t help that the holidays are occur and I know that satan is trying to make me doubt God’s abilities), I simply pray, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” And then I literally tell satan that Jesus and I command him to take a hike.
It’s amazing how quickly I feel relief and peace because I know that satan has left, even if it’s just for a more opportune time.
God’s good and faithful like that… even when I’m not.