The Day I Knew Would Come
Jan 21st, 2010 by Shalee
And I figured it would be sooner than later.
The Girl was asked out by the friend of a boy who wanted to go out with her. Don’t you just love middle school?! The place where it’s absolutely appropriate to send a representative to start your mission.
Reminds me of Abraham sending his servant to find a wife for Isaac.
Anyway, I knew it wouldn’t be long before the dating foray made its way into our lives. The Girl is so beautiful inside and out that I figured that once we made our way to a new place, the novelty of her and her personality would be attractive to the boys here. Not that I’m bias or anything…
I told her that she’s like Bella in the Twilight series. She’s a mystery to everyone. That alone makes her stand out in the sea of familiarity. She, of course, rolled her eyes at me and shook her head in disbelief.
I told her not to get involved with vampires or werewolves or I would have to head slap her to knock sense into her.
Anyway, she called to ask how she should respond because for years we have prepped her (and The Boy) to know that they can’t date until they are 16 years old. To emphasize the importance of being extra selective in dating, they even know that their first date must be a double date with Mr. Right and me. That means that they have to select someone who:
- has a strong stamina to be with the likes of us for a couple of hours.
- is willing to get to know us.
- doesn’t mind being shown through example how they should treat each other on a date.
- has enough confidence in himself/herself that the challenge isn’t really all that challenging.
- has a great sense of humor to go through with it.
- has to look us in the eyes and remember that we know who he/she is and where he/she lives and we will come and get him/her if they treat our family member poorly.
Okay, maybe not so much on that last point, but Mr. Right might mention his shooting lessons during the course of the dinner. Just maybe…
We feel that neither of them have any business looking for a mate at this age (which is what dating is), plus the social pressure is so much more intense these days. We don’t mind being the bad guys and giving them an easy answer as to why they can’t date, especially if either of them have been asked out by someone that they really don’t want to go date. 
If they do want to date that person, but they aren’t of age yet, I’m more than willing to have the person come to our house for game nights, dinners, movies, etc., but they will be with us the entire time. See we’re not completely heartless…
By the time I got home, I asked The Girl if she wanted to talk about the situation and the answer she could give, but to my surprise, she said that she already knew what she wanted to say (to the friend of the boy who asked): “Thank you, but I really don’t know him well enough yet.”
What a mature thing to say! And I didn’t have to be the bad guy… She’s a real smart cookie; it’s good to keep that in her back pocket just in case she needs it later.
I’m totally impressed with her. She’s obviously being raised right!
And I love your dating rules. Our oldest is 8, but my husband and I have been talking a lot lately (thanks to the Mark Driscoll series I’m listening to right now) about love, sex and dating. Your rules fit right in with how we’re leaning right now.
Hi!
Everyone handled the situation very mature fashion! What’s up with that? I’ll call you….. with the rest of the story.
L/M
I am so proud of both of you! I wish I had been so wise at your age… both of you. In my teen years I didn’t and in my mothering age I didn’t.
And I made a lot of mistakes that I later regretted. So please do hang in there and keep making those good decisions. I daily praise God for both of you. And I love you oodles and gobs!
No surprises there! Great parenting of course…but this from the girl who hated the first 15 minutes of her new school! I so do NOT miss adolescence!
I think girl and boy have excellent parents. I might just steal your dating rules!
I wished I would have been so mature at that age.